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Is Cryin' it Out the Best Way To Go?

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Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Is Cryin' it Out the Best Way To Go?

Princess fell out of her crib a couple months ago (before fracturing her arm).  I wasn't gonna blog about it because I felt HORRIBLE.  No need to flood the message boards with bad mommy comments.  I feel bad enough.  I read a post the other day on that made me rethink my decision of staying mum about the whole thing.

In the article mom and writer, Jennifer Borget, shares her positive experience in using the Ferber Method.  It's a technique in which babies are left alone to cry themselves to sleep.  She also addresses the way some other moms may have misused it.  There's no question that this method could be viewed as controversial.  Some may believe it's a form of neglect, while others may feel it's totally ok.  As stated in an article in Psychology Today, there have been claims that the Ferber Method could kill brain cells.  It sounds pretty dramatic, but like Jennifer, I see nothing wrong with it- as long as you don't leave your child screaming for dear life for too long.  You also have to keep in mind that every baby is different, and it's important to know your baby's limits.

While pregnant I knew I would be giving birth to a night owl.  My baby bounced around in my tummy during the night, and was super quiet during the day.  After giving birth -she barely slept- especially at night.  I was nearing the end of my maternity leave, and I wanted to train her to fall asleep on her own before returning to work.  Like Borget, I tried the Ferber method and was successful.  When people would ask about Princess's sleep habits, I felt like a proud mama!  I 'd tell them that she slept through the night just fine.  But, my happiness eventually turned to sorrow- not to mention stress.  After a few months, it was all over.  I couldn't believe it!  Princess wouldn't dare go down without a fight.  She'd be wide awake when I returned home from work.  I've written about her sleep conundrums,  and have gotten some great advice, as a result.  I tried everything to help soothe her.  I later found out that Princess was suffering from teething pain.  I thought it would be a temporary thing, but she still continued having sleep trouble.

I figured, why not give the "cry it out" sleep training method another try.  It worked before, it'll work again.  Right?  Wrong!  The plan was to put her in the crib, allow her to cry, and check on her every five minutes.  My hubby and I would continue with this until she finally wore herself out.  That never happened.  Princess was relentless.  She refused to go to sleep.  She stood up the entire time in protest.  At one point I saw my hubby laying blankets and pillows on the floor next the crib.  He looked at me and said, "I have a feeling she's gonna jump out."

It seemed like she finally knocked herself out.  After about ten minutes, we heard a loud thud.  Sure enough, Princess somehow made it over the bars.  My hubby, usually slow like mollasses, moved like lightning up the stairs.  When he came back down, he told me that he found her UNDERNEATH THE CRIB!  

I still have no idea how she ended up there.  However, it was a good thing those pillows and blankets were there to break her fall.  Lord only knows what would have happened.  I could kick myself for wanting to use this technique again.  It's not that I don't agree with it.  It's just that I feel all babies are different.  I always knew my daughter hated being in the crib.  Even though she slept in it before, she just doesn't feel comfortable in it now.  She likes being in a regular bed.  We don't all sleep in the same bed at the same time, but there are nights when it's just mommy and Princess.  Her daddy completely understands.

As of late, we've tried a new bedtime routine.  Since I work late, her daddy puts her down around 9 PM.  He puts on the cute ladybug that displays stars throughout her bedroom that Aunt Tiff bought her.  He also plays some soothing tunes, and stays with her until she falls asleep.  She still wakes up in the middle of the night.  But, we are making progress.  I usually spend half the night with her and other half with my hubby.  I know it'll be a slow process.  But as a parent, I know I have to be patient with her.  I remember being a kid.  Everything seemed so big, and sometimes scary.  I could only imagine how she must feel.  So for now, I just have to let her be the guide.

Kudos to the parents who've found success in the Ferber Method.   

What kind of sleep method do you use with your kiddos?

Weather Anchor Mama 

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At January 10, 2012 at 11:37 AM , Blogger {swank}mama said...

I used it and it worked in 3 days on Lil J. However, a year later, we made the mistake of letting him sleep in our bed for a couple days and now...months later...he's still in our bed. We just got his twin mattress for his big boy bed over the weekend so it's just a matter of getting that set up soon :)

At January 10, 2012 at 11:43 AM , Blogger Weather Anchor Mama said...

Yeah, I know what you mean. If I kept Princess in the crib, despite the teething troubles she was having, I think she would still be able to sleep by herself. But it was either that or get no sleep at all. Sometimes as parents our backs are up against the wall.

Yay for lil J getting his own bed. He's a big boy!

At January 12, 2012 at 4:16 PM , Blogger Jennifer said...

I'm sorry it didn't work for you :( And holy scary that she fell out of her bed!! We lowered Lil' J's crib so I don't THINK she could climb out but I wouldn't put it past her eigher! Definitely different things work for different babies!

At January 12, 2012 at 9:49 PM , Blogger Pegster said...

We tried this method too and it didn't work for us either. I am so sorry that it had to take princess breaking her arm for you to figure it out. T-man would gag himself and puke when we would let him cry. I also hated letting him cry. After puking 4 times I decided it wasn't worth it. We just have to stay with him until he falls asleep, then we move him to his bed. Good luck with getting her to bed.

At January 13, 2012 at 1:25 AM , Blogger Weather Anchor Mama said...

:( I was so excited when it worked the first time. I figured it would be smooth sailing. I guess I have to look on the bright side, I won't have problem transitioning her from crib to bed. I love this pic of you and hubby!

At January 13, 2012 at 1:27 AM , Blogger Weather Anchor Mama said...

She actually broke her arm from a separate incident. lol. I know, she's a mess. Thank goodness she didn't get hurt from falling out of the crib. I can't imagine what I would do.

At January 17, 2012 at 11:16 PM , Blogger Quiana said...

Awww poor Princess! Nia escaped from her crib too and I knew it was coming. She did it silently and it scared me so bad. She had been calling for me around 4a.m. then suddenly it went silent and then I heard her calling me as though she was right by me and she was at my door! My hubby and I asked her to re-enact it several times but she would start to lift her leg then back down looking at us with distrust. LOL!

Anyway, we used CIO and had some challenges with daylight savings in the fall and a couple months of sickness that threw everything off. Thankfully going to Nigeria somehow "fixed" this and she is going down by 8p.m. without a hitch and waking around 6/7a.m. I hope this lasts and I hope you and your family find a solution that works for you!

At January 18, 2012 at 12:43 PM , Blogger Weather Anchor Mama said...

Really? lol. Glad Nia made it out of the crib ok. I don't think Princess will ever step foot in that crib again. Her sleeping habits are slowly getting better. But, we have a ways to go. Maybe we need to go to Nigeria. haha

At September 2, 2012 at 4:48 AM , Anonymous mini baby cribs said...

Lovely...just lovely!


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