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When a Stranger Compares Our Kids

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Sunday, August 12, 2012

When a Stranger Compares Our Kids

I've realized that some people will say the weirdest things.  When they do, I usually smile and keep it moving.

What bugs me is when a complete stranger compares my kid with their kid.  A woman says to me, "your daughter is a little lady."  I respond, "thanks, so is she," (referring to the toddler she is with.  I don't know if there's any relation between them).  Then the conversation took a turn for the weird.

Lady: "No she's not a lady.  She's rough around the edges."

I find it strange when people diss their own kid (in this case, I'm not sure their of relation).  She goes on to say:

Lady: "She'll play football. Your daughter will do dance."
Me: "Oh."  (What else was I suppose to say?)
Lady: "She'll play the drums.  Your daughter will play the violin."

Me: Silence.  I'm getting annoyed. But, I smile and remain composed.

Lady: "She's a tomboy.  You daughter is a girly girl.  She'll want to paint her nails."

Me: Silence. Okay, I've had enough!

I don't think this woman means any harm.  But, it's just a weird conversation.  We've never met before, and she feels compelled to start drawing comparisons between the girls?!  My take- just let kids be kids.  They are here to have fun!  Who cares about what their gonna be doing years down the road?  They're only toddlers.  Besides, I don't even know you!

For the record- if Princess wants to play the drums, then she'll play the drums and anything else she wants to do (within reason of course).  She's way too young for me to put her in any sort of category and I'm her mom.  So when a complete stranger does it, it's just inappropriate and uncomfortable to listen to.

How do you feel about people comparing your kid to theirs?

Weather Anchor Mama




At August 12, 2012 at 12:57 AM , Blogger Team Jacob said...

That was odd

At August 12, 2012 at 1:04 AM , Anonymous NaShara said...

My daughter is almost 7 months old, and the most I have had a stranger say is how small she is for her age. It would bother me though if someone who didn't know her tried to pigeonhole her at such a young age. I want my daughter to know that she can do whatever she wants as long as she works for it and not to let other people (including myself) define her.

At August 12, 2012 at 9:14 AM , Blogger Weather Anchor Mama said...

Whew! I thought is was just me for a sec. I felt so uncomfortable and didn't know what to say. We were at a kid's party and didn't want to ruin the mood. PLus, I had Princess with me and I didn't want to confront the woman. She was older too.

At August 12, 2012 at 9:14 AM , Blogger Weather Anchor Mama said...

I know.

At August 12, 2012 at 9:15 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why can't parents ( including me, at times - we're all guilty of this at times I imagine) appreciate our children for who they are- their uniqueness, their individuality, their own special qualities ! Lesson learned from my wife ( a phenomenal elementary school teacher: every child has some special unique quality (well, MOST every child - LOL) that we need to recognize and appreciate). We should feel blessed by our children. Yes, there are some things I might want my children to do that they don't do, some things I want them to achieve that they haven't achieved, but I appreciate them for their uniqueness, their individuality and for the GREAT human beings they are ! And heck, I certainly ain't perfect ! We need to stop comparing our children and just appreciate them for who they are. (sorry so long winded)

Bruce M.

At August 12, 2012 at 10:55 AM , Blogger NaShara McClaeb said...

The sad part about this story is that it sounds like the woman was comparing her child negatively. If she says these things to her daughter, the girl will have self-esteem issues for the rest of her life.

At August 12, 2012 at 12:50 PM , Blogger Sharon said...

Next time just say, "My kid will be a lawyer. Yours will need my kids services." All kidding aside, that was one of the strangest exchanges I've ever heard.

At August 12, 2012 at 7:32 PM , Blogger Quiana said...

Weird stuff happens like that all the time too. I respond with silence and if I can just walk away when ppl say things like this. It's very creepy!

At August 12, 2012 at 8:35 PM , Blogger Weather Anchor Mama said...

I know. I hope not. I hope she doesn't grow up thinking she's not a young lady.

At August 12, 2012 at 8:37 PM , Blogger Weather Anchor Mama said...

Not long winded at all. I totally agree, Btw, got your facebook message but you didn't include a website for the walk.

At August 12, 2012 at 8:40 PM , Blogger Weather Anchor Mama said...

I ultimately walked away, I couldn't take it.

At August 13, 2012 at 9:17 AM , Blogger Darlene said...

That Mom has more problems than she knows what to do with! What's in her head could affect her daughter, likely sooner than later. I have one word for her: Therapy.
Walking away? Best move ever!


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