Babysitting While White

We've all heard of the expression, "driving while black."  But how about, "babysitting while white?"  A white grandfather and former journalist blogged about his experience of being detained by cops while walking with his black granddaughter.  The black person in me thought finally!  It's not a black man!  But, then I had to really think about this situation further.

We often hear about five-o pulling black people over for no apparent reason.  I've had black friends  tell me they were stopped by cops because they match the description of a criminal on the loose.  So when I read this article, I was kinda pleasantly surprised.  Then I thought about how this man's five year old granddaughter must have felt, and I had an about face.  How insensitive could I be?  I have a daughter of my own.  We count on the police to keep our children safe from child predators, but I hope that they'd do it with caution, and not scare our little ones.  It seems like that was not the case here.  The grandfather revealed how terrified the little girl became after being questioned by the officer.

Speaking of sex offenders, this guy could have been one.  But, he surely didn't deserve being cuffed. In his blog, Grits for Breakfast he also detailed having gone through being stopped and questioned while babysitting his granddaughter - not once, but twice.  Despite offering phone numbers to confirm their relationship, the cops ignored his plea.

This story does hit close to home.  While I haven't been detained by the boys in blue, I'm always asked if Princess is mine.  If I were to get held up by police like this guy did, I'd probably freak!

White or black, I'm sick of hearing about stories like this.  There are too many reports of innocent people being wrongfully detained, shot, and killed- all because they are racially targeted.

How do we stop this from happening?

Weather Anchor Mama

For the Last Time She Mine!

My hubby and I have always planned on having kids.  I knew that starting a family wouldn't be easy.  I'm not just referring to the financial aspects of raising a child.  I'm talking about how our children would be perceived.

There was a good chance that our child would have darker features like me.  There was also a good chance that he or she would have very fair skin and blue eyes like my hubby, who had blond hair growing up.  I also knew there was a good chance that our baby would have a head full of golden locks too.

No matter how light or dark, we would love our baby unconditionally.  But, the one thing I wasn't ready for was the question, "Is she yours?"  I remember being asked that question before becoming a mom.  I have a niece who is also biracial.  She's half Puerto Rican and half Jamaican.  She and I were joined at the hip when she was a baby.  People would always compliment how cute she was, and ask if she was mine.  I'd say thanks and answer the question without giving it a second thought.

A few years later my nephew, who is black, arrived.  Like my niece, we were joined at the hip.  Everyone assumed he was mine.  I recall people telling me, "I thought he was yours all this time."  I didn't mind.  After all, he was one of the most beautiful babies I had ever seen.  I'm not just saying that because he's my nephew.

Now that I have a daughter of my own I get asked that question all over again.  "Is she yours?"  I feel like saying, "for the last time she's mine!"  But of course, I politely say yes instead.  I must admit it can get annoying.  I always knew there would be a chance that I'd look like the nanny and I've come to terms with that.  My daughter is beautiful, and I'm so happy that God has blessed me with her.

I've come up with some do's and don't for when you encounter a biracial child with his or her parent:

1.  If you see a woman with a child, don't assume she's the nanny.
2.  I find that when my hubby, Princess, and I are together everyone assumes that we are a family.  If you see a mom or dad with a biracial child, do the same.

3.  Do compliment.  Parents love to be told how gorgeous their child is.  That way if you happen to say, "you have a beautiful daughter" you give that person the opportunity to either say "thanks" or "no she's my niece."  Get my drift?

4.  Don't give nasty or blank stares.  We hate those.  My hubby actually confronted someone for doing that.  Person became embarrassed.

5.  Do look over with a smile.  It shows kindness.
6.  Don't use words like mutts or half breeds when describing mixed raced kids.  That's just plain rude.  We prefer biracial.
7.  Do ask about race.  It's okay to ask someone about his or her background, as long as it's done nicely in the proper setting.  In other words, you don't want to stop a complete stranger and ask what race the kid is.
8.  Most importantly, do use common sense.

Weather Anchor Mama